Is it spring yet?

Sooo... here goes. My very first blog post is going to be about, what else? My butt. I stood up from the couch today, and my butt cheeks were asleep, literally asleep... all tingly and dead. I have no choice but to take this as a sign that winter is winning and my butt is losing. Granted it is all snowy and icy outside, but that's no excuse for allowing my ass to simultaneously expand and congeal.

With all the good intentions I could muster, I dragged my tingly butt up off of the couch and grabbed Elvin's leash. For those of you who don't know, Elvin is my sweet, loving, prince of a dog who never does anything wrong. We ventured out in the snow: Elvin with the fire of a pit bull cooped up for too long, snow storm after snow storm; and me with the withering glow of an extinguished match being tossed carelessly in the toilet to cover the stink of particularly large poop. Off we went into the snow and off Elvin went like it was his last crack at seeing the world. With a solid sheet of ice under my feet, down I went with a crash. Fortunately I had plenty of tingly, gelatinous padding to catch my fall.

Is it spring yet?