Because It Makes You Feel Better... That's Why.

A few years ago, a dear friend of mine named Michael passed away suddenly in his sleep from an undiagnosed heart defect. He was 38 years old. He had a one year old and a pregnant wife in bed next to him when his heart stopped. He ran 3 to 4 miles daily, ate well, and had an optimistic, low-stress temperament. He was one of the most naturally positive, compassionate, life-affirming people I have ever known. After his funeral, a client of mine - and mutual friend of his - was bereft.

“What’s the point?!” She wanted to know. “What the hell is the point of exercising and eating right all the time when your heart can give out on you any time anyway? Why not just eat what you want and not bother getting all sweaty and exhausted at the gym.” She struggled with her weight and motivation to exercise her whole life and couldn’t see the point anymore. It was a good question; one that I had to think twice about in the haze of such a sudden and heartbreaking loss.

As I considered her question, I had to ask myself, “Would Michael take back his healthy lifestyle if he knew he would pass away so young? Did he do it because he thought it would help him live longer or did he do it because of how it made him feel?” I believe I can safely say that he would not have changed a thing.

Michael would not have preferred to be 20 lbs heavier in exchange for those many hours spent running. He would not have chosen a Big Mac over his grilled fish soft tacos. I’m sure living a long life was part of his motivation, but more than that, the way he took care of himself while he was alive had a profound and immediate impact on the way he felt every day.

Proper diet and exercise habits can certainly extend life for many people, but the point is not longevity. The point is positively influencing how we feel on all of the days that we are alive, how we feel inside of our own skin, how easily we can climb a flight of stairs or get up off of the floor after playing with our puppies/babies.

Exercising and eating right boosts your mood, gives you more energy, helps you sleep better, improves concentration and focus, and increases confidence levels which can directly impact your working and personal life. Of course, being fit also improves your appearance, impacting everything from your muscle tone to your complexion.

Exercise helps us feel better, and isn’t that the point? To feel good? That’s why we do it. Most of us aren’t out there competing in Iron Man Triathalons, and there’s no compelling reason why you should if that’s not your thing. Exercise might help you live a little longer, but that’s a tough thing to remember sometimes when you are choosing between sleeping another hour or getting up to jog around the block.

Move your body because you have one. Use it. Find activities that make you feel good, even if that just means taking a stroll at lunch time. Simple, restorative, energetic activity can improve your quality of life, and if that means living a little bit longer, bring it on.

Is Your Workout Worth Your Time?

In short, the answer is always YES! No matter how brief or low-intensity, any physical activity during your day can contribute to your longevity and wellbeing. However, if you want to increase your fitness level, you can probably do more for greater results.

I met with a client the other day who has been working out for years, faithfully going to the gym, getting on the treadmill and elliptical for 45 minutes three times a week, occasionally using weight machines… and staying exactly the same weight year after year. It’s a common story.

If you are working out consistently for longer than three months and you feel like your progress has stalled, you are not pushing yourself hard enough or getting enough variation to force your body to grow stronger. You may very well be doing enough to maintain your current physique and cardiovascular fitness, and if that is your goal, then you are absolutely doing the right thing. However, if you are looking for increased fitness, you will have to challenge yourself and vary your workouts in order to keep advancing. It's hard and sweaty but well worth the effort.

There are a couple of indicators to let you know whether or not you are pushing yourself hard enough. Measure them regularly to keep track of your progress.

1. Soreness – You are looking for happy soreness, not painful, injury-induced soreness. Soreness should occur in your muscles but not in your joints, and you should not experience shooting pain of any kind. The ache of a good sore muscle usually occurs 24-48 hours after exertion. You should get sore when you begin a new workout program or when you increase your intensity as needed. Depending on the plan you are following, this can happen anywhere from every two weeks to every two months, but if you are not sore… ever… something is wrong. You are not working hard enough to challenge your muscles. You are too strong for your current regime. Take it up a notch!

2. Breathing – The conventional wisdom is that sedentary people, beginners, or casual exercisers should be able to carry on a conversation while engaged in cardiovascular activity like walking, jogging, or riding a bike. You should be able to talk but not sing. If you are singing as you stroll, you are not going fast enough. People with greater training experience can shoot a little higher. They can make it a goal to reach a level of exertion where they have some difficulty forming complete sentences but are able to get out a few words here and there between breaths.

3. Heart rate – Know your maximum heart rate and your target heart rate range. Bear with me here for a minute while we do some math. The easiest way to figure out your max heart rate is to subtract your age from 220 (ex. 220 – 35 = 185 beats per minute). Moderate exercise is 70-85% of your maximum heart rate. So, a 35-year-old person with a maximum heart rate of 185 bpm would want to keep his or her heart rate between 129 and 157 bpm while exercising. To find out what your current heart rate is, take your pulse for 10 seconds and multiply by 6. You can also get a watch with a heart rate monitor or use the monitors built into the handle bars of most commercial cardiovascular machines.

FYI, there is a new study from Ohio State University out this month suggesting a different maximum heart rate calculation exclusively for women. They recommend women calculate 206 minus 88% of your age. For a woman age 35, her maximum would be 175 bpm with a target heart rate range of 122 to 149 for moderate exercise. High intensity heart rates could be higher, but should stay below your personal maximum. Figure out your numbers once, and keep track a few times while you are exercising. Eventually, you will know your own body well enough to tell easily if you are in the appropriate heart rate zone.

4. Measurements – What your measurements are and how your clothes fit are better representations of changing fitness than weight. Instead of hopping on the scale everyday, consider asking a friend to measure your hips, waist, bust, and the widest part of your upper arm and thigh once a month in order to measure your progress. Whether or not you lose weight, your shape could be changing. Also, remember that dietary habits have everything to do with losing weight and keeping it off, so if your goal is weight loss, you will probably need to take a hard look at your diet and find places where excess calories can be cut. If your goal is overall fitness, set the scale aside and measure your progress by how you feel and how your clothes fit.

All of that said, some form of exercise is always better than none. A ten-minute walk every day is so much better than no walk at all. Take the above tips only if you are seriously interested in increasing your fitness level. Otherwise, make your goals much more manageable. Find ways to stay active whenever you can: garden, do crunches while you watch TV, walk around the block at lunchtime, park far away from the entrance to the movie theater, and take the stairs whenever possible. All of it is worth your while.

Please tweet or email me any questions, and I will do my best to answer!

@sarahhayscoomer

sarah@strengthoutsidein.com

Hold On For Dear Life or Jump?

Pregnancy sucks. Sorry for the lack of sunshiny teddy bear visions, but it does. I am not a fan. The following post is ostensibly about my trepidation over pregnancy because that happens to be the ordeal I am currently facing, but, more than that, it’s about the way we fight the challenges and changes in our bodies and lives… or not. Do we hold on for dear life or jump?

I have spent my entire adult life clinging to my independence and loathing the thought of pregnancy, but seven months ago, faced with a loving husband who would be broken-hearted if he never had the chance to be a Dad, I held my breath and made the choice to get knocked up. I jumped. It could be an adventure, right? I knew that once the deed was done, I would have no option but to see it through and hoped that, once impregnated, the prospect of motherhood might become less terrifying. No such luck.

Now, eight weeks out from my due date, the changes that are coming to my body, my life, and my household ache with palpable inevitability. The physical changes are inescapable, but it turns out that I do have a choice. I can claw and scratch to stay at the cliff’s edge where I easily understand my world, mourning the loss of my old life… childless, freewheeling, and exceedingly happy with the status quo. Or I can release the breath I began holding seven months ago and allow the changes to wash over me like a wave. As the days tick by, I am increasingly aware that holding on for dear life will bring me nothing but suffering.

My growing belly tells me that my body is going to make this transition whether I like it or not. My body is taking the lead, showing me the way forward as usual. “Strength Outside In” is my mantra after all. The body and external behavior patterns are the tangible stuff of life. They are the things that have always moved me forward when my mind just can’t seem to shake itself loose.

At this point, the belly is big, and the baby boy is kicking. I need to release him and myself. I have to let this kid out, get out of his way, and allow myself to become what I need to be in order to help him survive and grow. I am at a loss to know who this upcoming mother-person will be, but I do know that my heart and mind will follow the changes in my external life if I can allow them the space to swell and contract with the ebb and flow of new motherhood. The glimmers of excitement are already beginning to arise, and the more I loosen my grip, the more they show themselves.

As I was reminded by a Pete Seeger documentary on PBS the other day (yes, I’m a nerd), “To everything, turn, turn, turn; there is a season, turn, turn, turn.” I have no doubt that this particular season is going to rip me apart… physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. But I do get to choose how to respond, and I am choosing wholeheartedly to take the plunge, ride the wave, and see what becomes of me when I wash up on shore in the aftermath. Whatever happens, I have no doubt that I will be stronger for having taken the leap, overcome one of the greatest fears of my life, and welcomed into the world a little guy who, I'm sure, has a lot to teach me.

What cliff’s edge are you stuck on? Are you ready to jump? Consider catching a wave, and see where you land.

Dear Friend, Get Bariatric Surgery and Give Us All of Your Money

I received a letter in the mail recently from HCA/TriStar Health System, touting the wonders of bariatric surgery. The headline states boldly in red, “The more you lose, the more you win”, and the letter begins, “Dear Friend”.

My “friend” goes on to tell me “One of the worst consequences of being overweight or suffering from obesity is that quality of life suffers. Enjoying life’s simple pleasures – traveling, experiencing the outdoors or being socially active and meeting new people – can be difficult when living with this disease. If obesity is affecting your life or the life of someone you love, TriStar Health System can help. Our surgeons are experts in a variety of minimally invasive bariatric surgical procedures, including: gastric bypass, gastric banding, sleeve gastrectomy… Think of everything you have to gain when you decide you are ready to lose!”

This was sent to me, not based on a doctor’s recommendation, not because I am working with a psychiatrist or a nutritionist or trying to overcome morbid obesity. It was sent to me merely based on the fact that HCA has my mailing address because my doctor practices under their umbrella. It has nothing to do with my medical needs. In fact, it even says “If obesity is affecting your life or the life of someone you love...” Who doesn’t have someone they love who is affected by obesity?! Their marketing team is counting on that, and therefore this letter is suddenly, miraculously relevant to every patient in their purview.

I know lots of obese people, most of whom do not have difficultly “experiencing the outdoors” or “meeting new people”. Most of them are working tirelessly to achieve a healthy weight, or they have made peace with their bodies as they are. If the extra weight is dangerous, their doctors and counselors should be the ones to help them decide which interventions are best… not an advertising mailer made out to “Dear Friend.”

Call me old fashioned, but I find this kind of shameless, money-grubbing, condescending advertising to be totally and utterly disgusting. HCA/TriStar Health System should be ashamed of themselves. Instead of spending their money on marketing flyers and postage, they should donate a few hundred thousand dollars to healthy school lunch programs or food banks. Then maybe I would be proud to be one of their patients and happy to refer my friends and family for their services. Shame on you, HCA. Shame.

But I Can Be Perfect! Tomorrow.

Any of you who know me well have heard my mantra about setting small, easily-achievable goals. Just a couple of blog posts ago in Set, Point, Match, I was ranting about setting a goal you know you can reach and then hanging out there for a while, getting accustomed to how that new behavior or the new body feels in space before moving on to bigger, more exciting goals. And my last post was about our need for Quick Fix Clutter and how the resulting, inevitable failure can lead down a rabbit hole of obsession and insecurity.

Well, along those lines, Dr. Will Aguila has recently posted a brilliant blog on Huffington Post about The Link Between Obesity and Perfectionism. In reference to himself and others struggling with obesity, he says, "We're not the lazy procrastinating, passive-agressive people that many think we are. We set very high, sometimes unreachable, standards for ourselves... When we find we cannot achieve our goals, we stop trying because we fear failure."

His post is extremely insightful. I see it all the time in myself and my clients. It's the impulse that prompts you to go from pizza at the office party to skipping your workout because... well, you blew it with the pizza, so why bother? You'll just have some ice cream tonight and start fresh tomorrow. Oh yeah, and might as well have some chocolate sauce and a cookie with that since today is blown anyway. The next morning your clothes feel a little too tight, and you know you won't make your weight loss goal for the week. You feel low-energy and depressed, so your diet and workout plans suffer that day too. Rinse and repeat.

Dr. Aguila's point is that perfectionism can drive us all directly down the path of obesity. We must give ourselves a break, set goals we can achieve, and give ourselves a healthy reward if we get there. Small changes are the ones that change lives and bodies permanently. Reaching too far, too fast will likely only lead to crash-and-burn failure and even more unwanted weight gain.

I implore you to give yourself a break. Only then can you see clearly and discover exactly which goals make sense in the long run.

Quick Fix Clutter... had enough already?!

I am soooo very tired of reading about the latest, NEWLY IMPROVED, SUPER-FAST way to lose weight. I've been seeing a lot of this junk on twitter lately. These obnoxious, grandiose weight loss promises are exhausting. Can we just stop for a second and take a look at the track record, take a minute to consider how fad diets have worked out for us all?

The diet/fitness craze that started in the eighties has continued ad nauseam through today. Meanwhile, over those thirty years, adult obesity has doubled and childhood obesity has tripled - http://1.usa.gov/gY12RG.

Something is very wrong here. Extreme manipulation of our bodies clearly does not lead to a healthier life; it leads to obsession and insecurity, which, in turn, lead to depression, overeating, isolation, and lack of physical activity. Super-sized portions and endless hours in front of flashing screens don't help either. We are surrounded by body-centric, quick fix clutter. Can we tune this crap out, please? Stop buying it so they will stop selling it? Maybe then I could stop choking on it like a cat with a hairball.

There is no quick fix. Everybody knows that, whether they want to believe it or not. We need to simplify, re-engage... eat things that are living instead of boxed, find out what the air outside feels like, take a walk with a friend... rediscover the ever-shrinking parts of life that are not filled with pre-packaged, plastic, electronically-operated, bullshit-infused distractions.

I've been staring at the computer screen for too long.

So with that, I am signing off from this lighted box and going to bed to listen to my dog chasing tennis balls in his sleep and my dreams calling me back to the hills of California.

A New Right to Free Birth Control

This is huge, HUGE news. As of August 2012, all American women will have the preventive care and birth control that they need and deserve. The world of healthcare and insurance coverage can look awfully bleak at times, but this time we get to rise up and cheer!

"U.S. health insurance companies must offer women free birth control and other preventive health care services under rules released on Monday... The health department's guidelines followed the IOM's recommendations to require free screening for gestational diabetes, testing for human papillomavirus in women over 30, counseling for HIV and sexually transmitted infections, lactation counseling, screening for domestic violence and yearly wellness visits." - Yahoo News

http://news.yahoo.com/federal-health-department-approves-free-birth-control-women-143218278.html

Set Point Match

I am currently taking up more space in the world than I am accustomed to. This is not a fun feeling. In spite of my increased size being totally natural and necessary to make room for a little human, it feels disconcerting and strange to be so BIG all of a sudden.

Everybody develops a comfort zone at a certain weight, a set amount of space we are used to taking up in the world, a set point that feels familiar if not necessarily ideal. To change that set point feels odd, off kilter. Whether it is the result of weight gain or loss, the change is disconcerting and requires adjustment to remain in the new space, but eventually we get used to it. I am keenly aware of this as my body expands daily. My clients also struggle with it as they work to familiarize themselves with how their bodies feel in space after significant weight loss. Especially in weight loss, the body and mind want to pull you back to your customary set point. It feels easy and natural to drift peacefully back up to your customary weight.

My set point is generally about ten pounds heavier than I would like it to be. When left to drift aimlessly, without any effort or control, I will always come back to that same weight. Whether I'm approaching from it higher or lower, I always float back.

Why that particular set point and not another? Why not ten pounds down or twenty pounds up?

It's a warm and cozy combination of my habitual eating patterns, the portion sizes I have grown accustomed to, and the workout intensity I gravitate towards. It has to do with my overall daily activity level, the number of errands I run in a week, the number of clients I see, and the hours spent writing. It is neither good nor bad, neither terribly healthy nor unhealthy. It's just, plain middle of the road and seems to be how I roll when I'm not paying attention.

So what I would like to know is... when this ballooning belly is gone, when my set point has been upended for nine months, can I reset it where I wish?! Most of the time, we are busy allowing our set points to settle up ten pounds or so. But I've also seen the opposite happen... women so happy to have endured a pregnancy or men so happy to have overcome an injury that they want to feel as fit as possible. While it's up in the air, who's to say I can't reset it downward 10 pounds to that lovely, ideal hot bod in the sky? A girl can dream, right?

I'll have to wait to find out, but in the meantime, I challenge you to discover your set point. Figure out where you land naturally. Evaluate whether it makes you happy and how long it has been established. Then consider how it would feel to take up a different amount of space in the world. See if you can take your set point down 5 pounds. Take it down in your mind and in your body. Make the new weight, the new space, into the only acceptable option. Just like the limit on your credit card... there's only so far you can go before they shut you down. Shut yourself down a little earlier than usual.

Take it down, and match it for a while. Match that small change until it feels inevitable. Then, maybe, if you feel like it, evaluate your space all over again and find out if your new set point is a match for the long haul.

Death and dying and what happens after that

My friends, clients, and I seem to be doing a lot of birthing these days. In the midst of all of that birth, I cannot help but notice a growing sense of something dying.

There isn't much in the world that terrifies me more than the prospect of giving birth, but I understand that somehow, inevitably, through the fire of pain and suffering will come the transformation of an existing life and the beginning of a new one. However, whether I like it or not, for that transformation to happen, something has to die.

One of the first clients I ever had was a woman married to her own terrible self-image. She was absolutely convinced that she was an unattractive mess and would end up fat and alone no matter what she did. She showed up for her workouts but diligently destroyed her own progress with multiple In N' Out Burgers and whole packages of cookies. I chipped away at her with tireless encouragement, but after three years of working together, it became clear that she was determined to take that broken, unsubstantiated, negative self-image to the grave. She flatly refused to re-identify herself even a little bit, and in spite of some promising opportunities and growing physical strength, she always found a way to tumble backwards down the rabbit hole. She couldn't allow her old way of thinking to die in order to make room for unexplored possibilities.

So as I approach this new birth I have to ask myself... what needs to die? My fear of hideous physical pain, for one, will have to be faced, overcome, and left to shrivel. Second, my childless self will drift away like a puff of smoke, and I have no earthly clue what will appear in its place. It's a gift really, an adventure that will leave me with a depth of vision I cannot as of yet imagine. Stretching into unknown, terrifying experiences generally does deepen and enhance... at least in my experience. So here I go... death and birth all wrapped up into one undeniable event.

Beyond all of that, I would like to be able to choose death more often when it is less obvious and inevitable. I would like to choose the death, forever and always, of the woman who feels the need to eat for comfort or distraction, replacing her with someone who knows the magnificence of her own body and the nourishing role of food.

I would like to help my clients choose to walk into the death of their own destructive habits and self-images, watching them crumble and die; finding a glimmer of something new buried in the ashes.

Let it die, people. Walk away. Give birth to new life.

8 million people and counting

NBC News reported today that an estimated 8 million Americans suffer from eating disorders, and patients over the age of 35 have increased 42% since 2001. - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/vp/43647591#43647591

EIGHT MILLION AMERICANS... and those are just the cases of reported, diagnosed, clinical eating disorders. Aren't these things supposed to be getting better, not worse?! That doesn't even include the additional millions with low body image and emotional eating habits. These issues can strike at any age, any time, and for many people they represent a lifelong battle.

According to a survey published in the May 2008 issue of SELF magazine, 65% of women ages 25-45 consider themselves to have disordered eating. I'm going to yell again... SIXTY-FIVE FRIGGIN' PERCENT! This is a vastly under-reported, under-addressed problem. It is so unnecessary, and we are passing it down from generation to generation. It makes me sad and incredibly frustrated that so many people are suffering with eating, what should be a joyful part of life.

I ask my clients to start by giving themselves a break and taking stock of all the amazing things their bodies accomplish every day: working, driving, communicating effectively, even breathing. All of these things are accomplished with the help of nutrition... food. It is a partner, not an enemy. So try to start by eating a piece of fresh fruit every day this summer. Small steps go a long way in the long run. Give your body a little bit of what it needs, and over time, it will yearn for more.

In the meantime, let's give ourselves a break and give everybody else a break too. If there is a heavy woman on the beach who you might not expect to see in a bathing suit, instead of judging her, celebrate her for having the confidence to enjoy her life and not give a damn what anybody else thinks.