Tuesday, February 28, 2012
G-bye Fat Jeans
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Cost-Benefit Analysis: Making Good Choices Is a Daily Struggle
It is 11 p.m. I’m achy from my workout yesterday and feeling pretty good about it. I ate well today except for three large squares of chocolate from the Pound Plus Trader Joe’s 72% Dark Chocolate bar after dinner. My waistline is blissfully unencumbered by elastic-waist, cotton and spandex yoga pants. I didn’t get out for my three-mile walk today because I snoozed on the couch instead. My ten-week-old baby is going to wake up in an hour or two to eat. Another glass of wine would be nice… and maybe a snack… some of my husband’s peanut butter cereal perhaps? God, what I wouldn’t give for a hit of Red Velvet from Cupcake Collection right about now.
It’s all too familiar. Old patterns are crying out to be repeated, but there is a bigger issue at hand, a large looming goal waiting to be met. I have vowed to lose my baby weight and a little bit more by the end of April, a grand total of 17 pounds. It is a pact between me and myself. I have made many of these agreements before. Many. Of course, most of them were never fully met. So, this time, if I have any hope of reaching my goal, I have to stop and ask myself… bottom-line, bare-naked, absolutely truthfully “Why haven’t I met my goals before and why should this time be any different?”
Somehow, someway, in the past, the cupcakes were always more important than attaining the body I was shooting for. My goals were not unreachable, but the choices I made on a daily basis belied my stated objective to lose weight. I set a goal; I got distracted; it got cold outside; I went out for the night; a girlfriend came to visit; we sampled the local cuisine along with a few vodka martinis, and eventually I forgot about the objective altogether. Choices were made day-after-day, and they were not in support of my fitness goals. I remained a mildly chubby but very enthusiastic personal trainer. Nothing changed. I was willing to pay the price for cupcakes and martinis. That choice was just fine at the time, but as of now, I am not willing to pay that price anymore.
It’s a cost-benefit analysis. There is a caloric “cost” for the unhealthy choices we make every day. How much will that pizza cost? A whole lot of calories and fat. What is the benefit I get for choosing to eat it? I get to eat a yummy slice or three. I get to feel full and happy. I get to share bonding time with friends as we tear into the pie together, but I pay a steep price as I walk around every day, uncomfortably squeezed into my fat jeans.
I know I can lose 17 pounds this time around because the cost is no longer worth it to me. The benefit of an hour at the gym is greater than the benefit of tater tots. I don’t know how long it will take, but I do know that this time I am in search of a new identity, not just a new body. This is about more than weight loss. It is about how I want to feel in my life going forward from here. I don’t want to skip out on river rafting because of a crippling fear of bathing suits. I don’t want to spend my time in the car contemplating how my pants are digging into my abdomen. I don’t want to feel weak and tired. Finally (after a year of giving my body over to pregnancy and recovery) how I feel inside of my skin matters more than cupcakes.
I would prefer to sleep instead of working out. I like to drink red wine every night. I would eat sugary baked goods every day if I could… but it’s time for different choices now. New choices aren’t so hard to make when the vision at the end of the tunnel is so much more alluring than the potholes along the way. I’m ready to make choices that support the woman I want to be. The baked goods and the excuses to avoid breaking a sweat are going to have to go by the wayside for now.
The wine? Well, that's a different story. If the wine pads my hips with a soft little layer of love, that's a price I'm willing to pay.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Wedding Weight Woes: Just Say No to the Battle with the Scale
There isn’t much that I love more than a wedding. I got married over three years ago but can still be found covertly recording Say Yes to the Dress on my DVR every Friday night. It’s a sickness, really. There is something so alluring about the romance of it all. Beautiful dresses and flowers, reluctantly adorable men in tuxedos, and the promise of eternal love and commitment. It’s all so picture perfect, isn’t it?
Therein lies the trap.
Picture perfect is all about appearances, and appearances, for many women, are inextricably tied to body image. When it’s our turn to be the bride, so many of us take what should be a happy celebration of our connection with our partners and turn it into a referendum on our bodies and sense of style, fixating on tired, old insecurities as the big day approaches.
As a personal trainer, I get a lot of calls from women trying to lose weight in advance of their weddings. They want to be able to pull that corset tight and fulfill the dream of how they should look in their wedding pictures. I get it. By all rights, it is the one time in our lives when it seems like everything should fall blissfully into place, and for some women it does. I have seen clients and friends drop weight without cutting out so much as a single serving of Manchego. When it happens that way, fantastic. However, if it doesn’t, if a woman maintains her regular, real-life weight, should her day be any less celebrated? Should she feel any less blessed, beautiful, and loved?
Many of my clients who start exercising madly before a wedding end up disappointed because their goals are set too high or they don’t have the time or energy to make the changes necessary for significant weight loss. The struggle to lose weight is something they face every day whether there is a wedding on the horizon or not. I wish they could see the wedding as a reason to let go of that struggle rather than a reason to fixate on it. There are much better, much more wonderful things to think about in anticipation of the day you get to have everyone you love in one room, supporting you and wishing you well.
As my own wedding approached, I lost weight completely effortlessly for the first and only time in my life. Frankly, it was a bizarre feeling. The war I waged my entire adult life was suddenly no war at all. The stubborn ten pounds I could never kick suddenly lifted off and floated away. I felt like an idiot for wasting decades and incalculable amounts of energy battling myself over pounds that could be lost in a blink under the right circumstances. But my momentary reprieve from the weight loss Ferris wheel proved to be a mirage. After the big day, every pointless pound steadily crept back on like a dear old friend coming over nightly for a glass of wine on the couch and a few hundred old episodes of Say Yes to the Dress. I went down; I went up. And the funny thing is… it didn’t matter one bit to my husband. He loved me down, and he loved me right back up again.
Weddings can bring that magical lightness of being, or they can bring enormous pressure and frustration. The brilliant truth of the matter is that the husbands-to-be are always in love with their women just the way they are. They proposed marriage that way, and they want their brides to be the beautiful people that they have adored from the very beginning.
So I tell my clients: we will do everything we can to help you look as sexy and stunning as possible. But the best way to insure that you will look happy and healthy on your wedding day is to be happy and healthy, strong and fit, to exercise and get lots of fresh air, to celebrate the upcoming day and put your focus on spending the rest of your life with the person you love. It has absolutely nothing to do with losing weight or dropping a dress size. It has everything to do with confidence and joy. Letting go of the pressure to lose weight is easier said than done, but if you are taking good care of yourself, your beauty will shine brightly in the photo on the mantel "from this day forward, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health."
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Fruit and Veggie PILLS... Say What?!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
New Year’s Cliché - I have seventeen pounds to lose
Here we are again… all wrapped up in New Year’s Eve and its obligatory resolutions. This particular New Year’s holds special meaning for me. 2011 was a year of massive change globally and massive change for my husband and me personally. We sold our house, moved twice, bought another house, got pregnant, lost our beloved dog, Elvin, and welcomed our son, Sky, into the world. Our family and physical surroundings look nothing like they did at the beginning of the year. 2011 picked us up in one place and dropped us somewhere entirely different when it was done.
Usually, at this time of year, I spend a lot of time preaching to new clients about setting small, unquestionably attainable goals. If they want to set a loftier one, I ask them to get very specific about why that particular goal is achievable for them. I am not easily convinced. More often than not, large, challenging goals are forgotten and abandoned by January 15th, so I prefer to help them reach for one or two small goals, followed by something bigger and more exciting when they are ready. Walking around with one small success under your belt is a lot more empowering than walking around with a big failure. Teeny tiny changes are usually best and can make an enormous difference in the long run. If you walk 15 minutes every day, you can add years to your life. You might not lose much weight, but it will make a big difference. If you can eat one extra piece of fruit per day, you will be healthier for it.
Small goals are easy. Larger ones require a serious gut check. Just exactly why do you believe you can lose that fifty pounds this time around?! The answer doesn't have to be pretty, but it has to be honest and powerful enough that you can fall back on it in your weakest moments. It has to matter a whole hell of a lot.
This year I am setting what feels like an enormous goal for myself. Eight weeks after giving birth to my son, I have seventeen pounds to lose. This is real weight, not the easy baby weight that drifts off in the first few weeks after delivery. The seventeen pounds is made up of nine pounds gained during pregnancy along with eight pounds I was unhappily carrying before getting pregnant.
This extra weight weighs heavy on my heart, not because of how my clothes fit or how I appear to others. It represents a symptom of motherhood that I have always been determined to avoid... the weight itself, but even more so, the never-ending mind trip over bad body image. I'm tired of the whole game. I can feel the body I want to inhabit, and it is not currently residing here. Fortunately, I have come to know lots of amazing, fit moms who I can emulate. I would probably tell a client in my situation to shoot for the initial nine pounds first, to get back to the pre-pregnancy weight and then shoot for the extra eight. But that would defeat my motivation. The body with eight extra pounds on it is no motivation at all for me. This is about identifying who I want to be in this new role of mom. It’s about who I want to be in my life going forward now that everything is irrevocably different.
As I have stated before on this blog, motherhood is a strange beast to me. I’m not sure who this Sarah-mother person is. Clearly I am in transition, and this is a moment when I get to rediscover myself as I watch Sky grow and develop. I love my son, but this transformation is about me too and part of who I want to be for myself and for him is someone light, lithe, and strong. I do not want to go into motherhood weighed down by seventeen pounds or even eight.
This particular moment is not about cutting myself a break. It’s about demanding more of myself. If I were counseling a client, I would tell her that a reasonable time frame for this lofty goal would be the end of April, sixteen weeks from now. So I will maintain reasonable expectations on that front, though I would much prefer that it go faster. Of course, I will report back, win or lose, on my progress.
I am learning a lot about my clients as I face this hurdle. I am learning that I could counsel them better, help them to dig deep and find out why and how to reach their goals. Perhaps in 2012, I will learn to push them harder after I have pushed myself and to help them reach their grander goals in the long run.
Whatever your situation, whatever your resolution, I wish you clarity and focus in the New Year to make 2012 a banner year. It will only happen once, so let’s make the most of it.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Welcome to the world, Mr. Sky!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
There is Power in Powerlessness… But Damn If It Doesn’t Hurt
Two things… One, my beloved Elvin has been missing for 16 days. I stare at maps and rack my brain to uncover where he might be. The stretches of streets and homes stare back at me blankly, not giving any clues. I have no power. All I can do is keep stepping forward, keep putting out the word that we have not given up, and keep leaning on the people who so generously offer up a strong shoulder.
Two, I am about to go into labor and have this baby. Don’t worry... no gory details here. Just a simple acknowledgement that I am also powerless in this regard. I cannot determine when or how this baby will arrive. I cannot determine what it will do to my body, how I will get through it, or how hard or easy it will be on the baby. But I can decide to recognize my powerlessness yet again and surrender to the inevitability of time, physical pain, and his imminent arrival.
I know that there are people around the world facing unimaginable loss and suffering, and I don’t pretend to compare my situation to theirs. This is just what I have to offer.
Within powerlessness, there is a choice. Panic or release. I cannot bring a child into the world in a state of panic. So my new word, the only word I have left, is “release”. There is no choice but to release, and this does not mean giving up
I hope with every ounce of my being that Elvin will return home, and I hope that my baby’s arrival brings far more joy than pain. That’s all I can do. Release and wait.
If you want more information on Elvin or on the amazing rescue organization helping us look for him, please visit www.campchaos37206.org.
El eagerly opening his stocking - Christmas morning 2010
Monday, October 17, 2011
Lessons Learned from a Lost Puppy
I have learned a few things in the past nine days since my 11-year-old, baby boy pit bull, Elvin, went missing. I have learned a grief that cannot be articulated. I have learned the art of managing a panic attack at 2 in the morning. I have learned what it means for loss and powerlessness to permeate everything.
Sadly, I have learned that there are people in the world that take pleasure in other people’s pain and in the pain of helpless animals. I have seen the depths of poverty and hopelessness in a city that has largely avoided the worst of this awful recession.
Joyfully, I have learned that my husband is my greatest companion and solace. Though shaken to the depths of sadness as completely as I am, he will not be found anywhere but by my side, loving and sheltering me, our unborn son, and our lost Elvin to the best of his ability.
But the greatest lesson I have learned is that there are kind, concerned, supportive, selfless, and profoundly generous people everywhere I turn… the most surprising of whom, I had never met before. The outpouring of support from the community I live in has been absolutely stunning. The organization of people who love animals and spend every day of every week doing everything they can to protect them in my neighborhood is unlike anything I have ever seen before. Friends and strangers are giving their time and resources day after day, encouraging us to press on and not give up.
Before all of this, I thought my love for animals was verging on bizarre. I thought I was some kind of freak for the way my heart swells at the sound of a thirsty dog lapping eagerly at a clean bowl of water or breaks as I helplessly watch a starving, homeless kitten cowering under a broken down car. I am thrilled this week to learn that I am not alone.
I am humbled by the kindness and compassion of everyone who has stepped up to help us. I have learned that I don’t give enough, and that is about to change. I just want to say thank you. I have no words to express how much it means, but we are blessed to be surrounded by so much love and support. Elvin thanks you too… wherever he is.
Please call 615-228-1130 with info.
More pics and description can be seen at www.campchaos37206.org.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Because It Makes You Feel Better... That's Why.
A few years ago, a dear friend of mine named Michael passed away suddenly in his sleep from an undiagnosed heart defect. He was 38 years old. He had a one year old and a pregnant wife in bed next to him when his heart stopped. He ran 3 to 4 miles daily, ate well, and had an optimistic, low-stress temperament. He was one of the most naturally positive, compassionate, life-affirming people I have ever known. After his funeral, a client of mine - and mutual friend of his - was bereft.
“What’s the point?!” She wanted to know. “What the hell is the point of exercising and eating right all the time when your heart can give out on you any time anyway? Why not just eat what you want and not bother getting all sweaty and exhausted at the gym.” She struggled with her weight and motivation to exercise her whole life and couldn’t see the point anymore. It was a good question; one that I had to think twice about in the haze of such a sudden and heartbreaking loss.
As I considered her question, I had to ask myself, “Would Michael take back his healthy lifestyle if he knew he would pass away so young? Did he do it because he thought it would help him live longer or did he do it because of how it made him feel?” I believe I can safely say that he would not have changed a thing.
Michael would not have preferred to be 20 lbs heavier in exchange for those many hours spent running. He would not have chosen a Big Mac over his grilled fish soft tacos. I’m sure living a long life was part of his motivation, but more than that, the way he took care of himself while he was alive had a profound and immediate impact on the way he felt every day.
Proper diet and exercise habits can certainly extend life for many people, but the point is not longevity. The point is positively influencing how we feel on all of the days that we are alive, how we feel inside of our own skin, how easily we can climb a flight of stairs or get up off of the floor after playing with our puppies/babies.
Exercising and eating right boosts your mood, gives you more energy, helps you sleep better, improves concentration and focus, and increases confidence levels which can directly impact your working and personal life. Of course, being fit also improves your appearance, impacting everything from your muscle tone to your complexion.
Exercise helps us feel better, and isn’t that the point? To feel good? That’s why we do it. Most of us aren’t out there competing in Iron Man Triathalons, and there’s no compelling reason why you should if that’s not your thing. Exercise might help you live a little longer, but that’s a tough thing to remember sometimes when you are choosing between sleeping another hour or getting up to jog around the block.
Move your body because you have one. Use it. Find activities that make you feel good, even if that just means taking a stroll at lunch time. Simple, restorative, energetic activity can improve your quality of life, and if that means living a little bit longer, bring it on.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Is Your Workout Worth Your Time?
In short, the answer is always YES! No matter how brief or low-intensity, any physical activity during your day can contribute to your longevity and wellbeing. However, if you want to increase your fitness level, you can probably do more for greater results.
I met with a client the other day who has been working out for years, faithfully going to the gym, getting on the treadmill and elliptical for 45 minutes three times a week, occasionally using weight machines… and staying exactly the same weight year after year. It’s a common story.
If you are working out consistently for longer than three months and you feel like your progress has stalled, you are not pushing yourself hard enough or getting enough variation to force your body to grow stronger. You may very well be doing enough to maintain your current physique and cardiovascular fitness, and if that is your goal, then you are absolutely doing the right thing. However, if you are looking for increased fitness, you will have to challenge yourself and vary your workouts in order to keep advancing. It's hard and sweaty but well worth the effort.
There are a couple of indicators to let you know whether or not you are pushing yourself hard enough. Measure them regularly to keep track of your progress.
1. Soreness – You are looking for happy soreness, not painful, injury-induced soreness. Soreness should occur in your muscles but not in your joints, and you should not experience shooting pain of any kind. The ache of a good sore muscle usually occurs 24-48 hours after exertion. You should get sore when you begin a new workout program or when you increase your intensity as needed. Depending on the plan you are following, this can happen anywhere from every two weeks to every two months, but if you are not sore… ever… something is wrong. You are not working hard enough to challenge your muscles. You are too strong for your current regime. Take it up a notch!
2. Breathing – The conventional wisdom is that sedentary people, beginners, or casual exercisers should be able to carry on a conversation while engaged in cardiovascular activity like walking, jogging, or riding a bike. You should be able to talk but not sing. If you are singing as you stroll, you are not going fast enough. People with greater training experience can shoot a little higher. They can make it a goal to reach a level of exertion where they have some difficulty forming complete sentences but are able to get out a few words here and there between breaths.
3. Heart rate – Know your maximum heart rate and your target heart rate range. Bear with me here for a minute while we do some math. The easiest way to figure out your max heart rate is to subtract your age from 220 (ex. 220 – 35 = 185 beats per minute). Moderate exercise is 70-85% of your maximum heart rate. So, a 35-year-old person with a maximum heart rate of 185 bpm would want to keep his or her heart rate between 129 and 157 bpm while exercising. To find out what your current heart rate is, take your pulse for 10 seconds and multiply by 6. You can also get a watch with a heart rate monitor or use the monitors built into the handle bars of most commercial cardiovascular machines.
FYI, there is a new study from Ohio State University out this month suggesting a different maximum heart rate calculation exclusively for women. They recommend women calculate 206 minus 88% of your age. For a woman age 35, her maximum would be 175 bpm with a target heart rate range of 122 to 149 for moderate exercise. High intensity heart rates could be higher, but should stay below your personal maximum. Figure out your numbers once, and keep track a few times while you are exercising. Eventually, you will know your own body well enough to tell easily if you are in the appropriate heart rate zone.
4. Measurements – What your measurements are and how your clothes fit are better representations of changing fitness than weight. Instead of hopping on the scale everyday, consider asking a friend to measure your hips, waist, bust, and the widest part of your upper arm and thigh once a month in order to measure your progress. Whether or not you lose weight, your shape could be changing. Also, remember that dietary habits have everything to do with losing weight and keeping it off, so if your goal is weight loss, you will probably need to take a hard look at your diet and find places where excess calories can be cut. If your goal is overall fitness, set the scale aside and measure your progress by how you feel and how your clothes fit.
All of that said, some form of exercise is always better than none. A ten-minute walk every day is so much better than no walk at all. Take the above tips only if you are seriously interested in increasing your fitness level. Otherwise, make your goals much more manageable. Find ways to stay active whenever you can: garden, do crunches while you watch TV, walk around the block at lunchtime, park far away from the entrance to the movie theater, and take the stairs whenever possible. All of it is worth your while.
Please tweet or email me any questions, and I will do my best to answer!
@sarahhayscoomer
sarah@strengthoutsidein.com