Here we are again… all wrapped up in New Year’s Eve and its obligatory resolutions. This particular New Year’s holds special meaning for me. 2011 was a year of massive change globally and massive change for my husband and me personally. We sold our house, moved twice, bought another house, got pregnant, lost our beloved dog, Elvin, and welcomed our son, Sky, into the world. Our family and physical surroundings look nothing like they did at the beginning of the year. 2011 picked us up in one place and dropped us somewhere entirely different when it was done.
Usually, at this time of year, I spend a lot of time preaching to new clients about setting small, unquestionably attainable goals. If they want to set a loftier one, I ask them to get very specific about why that particular goal is achievable for them. I am not easily convinced. More often than not, large, challenging goals are forgotten and abandoned by January 15th, so I prefer to help them reach for one or two small goals, followed by something bigger and more exciting when they are ready. Walking around with one small success under your belt is a lot more empowering than walking around with a big failure. Teeny tiny changes are usually best and can make an enormous difference in the long run. If you walk 15 minutes every day, you can add years to your life. You might not lose much weight, but it will make a big difference. If you can eat one extra piece of fruit per day, you will be healthier for it.
Small goals are easy. Larger ones require a serious gut check. Just exactly why do you believe you can lose that fifty pounds this time around?! The answer doesn't have to be pretty, but it has to be honest and powerful enough that you can fall back on it in your weakest moments. It has to matter a whole hell of a lot.
This year I am setting what feels like an enormous goal for myself. Eight weeks after giving birth to my son, I have seventeen pounds to lose. This is real weight, not the easy baby weight that drifts off in the first few weeks after delivery. The seventeen pounds is made up of nine pounds gained during pregnancy along with eight pounds I was unhappily carrying before getting pregnant.
This extra weight weighs heavy on my heart, not because of how my clothes fit or how I appear to others. It represents a symptom of motherhood that I have always been determined to avoid... the weight itself, but even more so, the never-ending mind trip over bad body image. I'm tired of the whole game. I can feel the body I want to inhabit, and it is not currently residing here. Fortunately, I have come to know lots of amazing, fit moms who I can emulate. I would probably tell a client in my situation to shoot for the initial nine pounds first, to get back to the pre-pregnancy weight and then shoot for the extra eight. But that would defeat my motivation. The body with eight extra pounds on it is no motivation at all for me. This is about identifying who I want to be in this new role of mom. It’s about who I want to be in my life going forward now that everything is irrevocably different.
As I have stated before on this blog, motherhood is a strange beast to me. I’m not sure who this Sarah-mother person is. Clearly I am in transition, and this is a moment when I get to rediscover myself as I watch Sky grow and develop. I love my son, but this transformation is about me too and part of who I want to be for myself and for him is someone light, lithe, and strong. I do not want to go into motherhood weighed down by seventeen pounds or even eight.
This particular moment is not about cutting myself a break. It’s about demanding more of myself. If I were counseling a client, I would tell her that a reasonable time frame for this lofty goal would be the end of April, sixteen weeks from now. So I will maintain reasonable expectations on that front, though I would much prefer that it go faster. Of course, I will report back, win or lose, on my progress.
I am learning a lot about my clients as I face this hurdle. I am learning that I could counsel them better, help them to dig deep and find out why and how to reach their goals. Perhaps in 2012, I will learn to push them harder after I have pushed myself and to help them reach their grander goals in the long run.
Whatever your situation, whatever your resolution, I wish you clarity and focus in the New Year to make 2012 a banner year. It will only happen once, so let’s make the most of it.
