So I ask again... this time three months later, "Are you moving in the right direction? Are you moving at all??" In the infamous words of the Steve Miller Band, "Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future." Just think of me as the nagging, ticking clock in your living room.
We are heading into Easter. It's almost April, and I am hearing lots of buzz about Easter parties and candy and lots of groaning about the fact that the scale still hasn't moved. First, the issue was Christmas and New Year's, then it was Valentine's Day, and now it's Easter. Next up: summer BBQ season.
There will always, always be a holiday, a business trip, or a bad break-up standing tall, ready to get in your way. There will always be something taunting and tempting you, pulling you away from your goals for another day, another night, another week. Always. Along with death and taxes, you can count on that.
So the question becomes, "How much time do you have? How many more months of your life will pass by before you actually make the change you keep talking about?"
If living in the moment and enjoying your life, eating Cadbury eggs on Easter and drinking scotch all weekend are more important to you than losing ten or fifty pounds, bless you, free spirit! Go forth and enjoy! If this is the case, please-please-please let yourself off the hook. Drop the goal, and stop carrying around a miserable shadow of failure and guilt. There's no reason for it.
The problem arises when losing the weight actually is very important to you, but willpower is failing you. If this is where you are and you can't seem to break out of it, I encourage you to STOP and STARE... stare at the Cadbury egg, stare at the sweet potato fries, stare at the pizza (each slice one-by-one)... stop and stare and consider what is about to happen... is it worth it?
Don't try to will yourself not to eat it, just pause long enough to make a conscious choice. Over time, you will increase your awareness of what matters to you and how much it matters. You'll start to make choices that support your ambition, or you'll decide it's not worth it and move on.
If a large pizza is your best friend on a Saturday night, love it for that. Stop and stare. Appreciate the fact that you have the option to pick up the phone and order a pizza. Eat the whole thing if you want to, but eat it with love. Even if there are tears in your eyes and you know you are eating to feel full and numb, appreciate it for that. Just don't do it unconsciously. Stop and stare. Consider the goals you hold dear to your heart, and decide if each slice is worth it.
If you come upon a moment when your desire to wear a bikini or your fear of painful knee joints matter more than the next slice, have a pre-planned list of other stuff to do... take a walk, do your nails, get in the tub, buy a trashy magazine, move your body from the couch to the floor, stretch, pull your dog up on to your lap... do something to shake up the pattern.
At first, this might - and probably will - feel forced, cumbersome, and awkward, but eventually it does become more natural. I can't promise that it will ever be second nature, but it can be a stopgap to help you get where you want to go. And the choices do get easier as you go.
It's April. The holidays are long gone. If you've been stuck on a goal for months or years, give it some love. Let it go guilt-free, or give it the attention it deserves. Look at your body in the mirror, and see it for all of the amazingness that it is - because any living, breathing body truly is a remarkable device. Take time to see the weight you are carrying (where it sits, how it curves), and decide what is worth it. Cocktails? Cupcakes?
Some things will be worth it, and some will not. Look at your food, and love it for being there - or toss it because your goal matters more. Love the food, or let it go for a higher cause. But whatever you do, don't eat blindly, and get dressed blindly, and let the months and years melt away with the clock ticking relentlessly in your living room.
See it. Stare.
